THE CONCRETE ROUNDABOUT (TCR)

Schindler's List - Best horror film of all time.

Fuck.

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What’s with the touches of red (like the coat) do you think?

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I don't need your ill-informed, half-baked, idiotic opinions. I have plenty of those myself.

65

Nowhere near as bad as we've been led to believe it is. I mean it's not great, but it's not the steaming pile of shit the critics would have you imagine it is.

The initial pitch must've been something…

"We have this brilliant idea. A spaceman crash lands on an unknown planet. We could get Adam Driver to play him. All moody and intense, no matter how absurd the action is. He'd be fantastic. The twist, that we'll keep to the end, it's earth, and it's 65 million years ago. In fact it's the day before the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs hits the aforementioned earth. What do you think of that then?"

"I like it. However, wouldn't it be better if we dispense with the twist and just tell the audience from the off that it's earth. I like the Adam Driver business, but he'll need a co-star. We're thinking a young girl, that way we can add both some unnecessary drama, and a cod father/daughter relationship where there's none required. We're also thinking that we could film it during lockdown. You see then we wouldn't need any other actors. Just Driver and the young girl. The dinosaurs wouldn't need to be factually correct for the time period, just fucking massive and scary as fuck. What do you think?"

"Well it's not what we'd like, but it's better than nothing we suppose".

That's more or less what happened. A fine premise ruined by unnecessary interference from the studio. What could've been an entertaining enough SciFi B-movie first of all fell into development hell, then Covid hit just as filming started, then pre-release reviews started coming in, all of which were bad. It went through 5 release dates, all of which were cancelled, before being let go a month ago to little fanfare.

It has to be said that the acting is poor. The opening scene with Driver saying goodbye to his family is some of the poorest I've ever seen. Driver isn't great, all he does is either stare or frown, that's when he's not shouting. The young actor who plays the girl, Ariana Greenblatt, does what a million young actors have done before. She's functional enough, but it's nothing we haven't seen before. It's also really dark in places, to the point where it was difficult to see what was going on. This is a movie trend that I could do without.

I'm off work at the moment, and it filled an hour and a half before I go up to the allotment, or down my studio.

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They say don't kick a man when he's down. Show me a better time.

Could be wrong but I got the highlighting of her was the example that sprung to mind when he broke down at the end - he could save one more had he done this, and that... we later see her carried away of course and see Oskar's face in horror... I think that was to highlight that. But there's many meanings. None are wrong.

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Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

Wow. Really surprised how much I enjoyed this. Took the missus to the flicks and she chose that. I didn't really have an opinion, but I like Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez and Hugh Grant and the trailer looked good...

Really really good and a LOT of fun. Kinda like a Shrek, LOTR, Guardians of the Galaxy, Monty Python hybrid.... but didn't need to try too hard to be fun, funny or quirky. It was really well written, and performances were clearly well executed due to the fun on set. Was cackling after 10 mins. Not many of these films about nowadays that aren't Marcel etc.. I'd recommend this one.

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Aftersun

Spoiler Alert - some spoilers included below.

Critically well received art house film from 2022. Ostensibly about a young father (it's the eve of his 31st birthday) taking a holiday to Turkey with his 11 year old daughter, set in the late 90's. But it's actually about time, and memories and about what you can see in those you love but also the things you don't see.

It's slow paced, befitting the subject matter and is very carefully constructed by writer and director Charlotte Wells. The video camera footage of the holiday is the vehicle used to segue the viewer backwards and forwards in time. I'd love to watch it again as I'm sure I'd pick up hints and nuances on a second/third/fourth viewing. There are a handful of minor roles but it's essentially a two-hander between Dad Calum (Paul Mescal) and daughter Sophie (Frankie Corio). Both are excellent.

So what does the daughter see and what does she miss (until revisiting the footage and her memories on her birthday, when of a similar age to her Dad)? Well, she sees that he loves her, even though he's separated from her mother and isn't in her life much any more. She sees he has mood swings. She sees he has money worries but tries to buy her things he can't really afford. But she doesn't see the deep depression circling round him, the despair and tears, the attempts to pull himself together through self-help books and Tai Chi, the lack of care for his personal safety and the self-loathing (the tooth-brushing scene).

The ending is open for interpretation but I took their parting at the airport (he flying to London and she escorted by airline staff to her flight back to her mum in Scotland) as the last time she ever sees him, probably because he kills himself.

Overall, it's a thoughtful and emotional film, made in a creative and un-cliché way. Hollywood it isn't. I loved it and would give it 9/10. After a second viewing, I'm guessing that would go up to 10/10.

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I don't need your ill-informed, half-baked, idiotic opinions. I have plenty of those myself.

The Mother

You could imagine the pitch for this massive pile of abject nonsense.

Right! Have we got a movie for you. Imagine this. Jennifer Lopez starrs as an ex-special forces sniper, who’s also brilliant at close combat fighting, and boy oh boy you should see her in a knife fight. So?

Well, not sure.

Ha Ha, we’re not finished. She gets involved in arms smuggling, but what the FBI don’t know is that she’s only doing it because she can’t stand the illegal arms trade and wants to bring the whole operation down.

Err, still not sure.

We’ve not told you the twist yet. While in this arms trading gang she gets pregnant by one of the gang leaders, and wonderfully we’re never told which one is the father. We’re thinking Joseph Fiennes for one of them. That’s if the cheque is big enough to tempt him.

Don’t think it’s for us. Sorry.

Wait wait. Old J Lo’s kid gets kidnapped by the gang and she has to rescue the kid, not once, twice, or even three times, but four times, and J is outstanding. Shooting, stabbing, punching, kicking, all of it.

We’re sorry. It’s not really our thing. We think trying to sell Jennifer Lopez as some kind of action hero is a step too far.

Bugger. Oi, Netflix, you’ve got more money than sense. Have we got an idea for you…

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They say don't kick a man when he's down. Show me a better time.

In The Court Of The Crimson King: King Crimson At 50

I love a rock documentary, I don’t however love King Crimson, and this did little to alter my perception of them. Or more precisely, him. If Robert Fripp’s persona is an act, then it’s a good one. Mr grumpy from start to finish, with perhaps just a glimmer towards the end of this love in, directed by Toby Amies, of the elvish personality he displays every Sunday on the videos him and wife Toyah do from their kitchen.

Like I say, I really don’t like the music. Over blown, and just too clever for it’s own good. For a start they have three drummers. Three! What’s the point of that? Except to make a fucking racket. Then there’s Tony Levin. A man with a bass that has somewhere around 20 strings on it. What’s the point of that? I remember being extremely disappointed when Peter Hook had a five string bass. But 20! Not required.

Then there’s the sheer amount of members there’s been. God alone only knows how many, most of which don’t have a good word for Fripp, some actively saying on camera how much they don’t like him. They do talk of him in awe to a man no matter how badly he’s treated them in the past. However if there was one redeeming thing to take from this then it’s the current vocalist/guitarist who used to front a Crimson tribute band up until Fripp called him out of the blue and offered him a gig in the real thing.

But if you think the members are a fucking nuisance… the fans. Holy shit. I imagine you’re thinking old white men, bald with long beards, nodding in reverence along to 21st Century Schizoid Man. You’d be right. Prog Rock is shit music, with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Interviewing a load of fans who think Crimson are the second coming is a pointless waste of time. Amies would have been better off, in the interests of balance, interviewing someone like me. Someone who actively dislikes them.

The film is dedicated to multi-instrumentalist Bill Rieflin who died of cancer before the piece was completed. I have to say that seeing Rieflin’s garden in Seattle was the highlight of the whole thing for me. I spent all day in mine yesterday, and will be doing likewise today, and if I could get mine to look halfway as good as his I’ll die a happy man.

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They say don't kick a man when he's down. Show me a better time.

JFK

I remember going to see this when it came out, I’m guessing over 30 years ago, and thinking that it was pretty good. I guess my younger self was easily impressed. I haven’t watched it since. So looking for something to watch, I found it on Netflix and gave it a go.

This is a truly dreadful film. The acting is universally appalling. Kevin Costner is so wooden that Oliver Stone would've been better casting a log. The normally excellent Tommy Lee Jones was actually embarrassing. He was dreadful. John Candy played his part as some sort of hipster cool-cat. I couldn’t understand what he was trying to do. All jive-talking rubbish. And as for Joe Pesci, I don’t even know where to start with that.

I remember the conspiracy theory controversy that surrounded in on it’s initial release, and I guess there’s some merit in looking at what happened, but this was so badly executed that it failed on every level.

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They say don't kick a man when he's down. Show me a better time.

Fast X

Really insightful, thinkers movie. So much nuance and a proper brain food movie. You feel much smarter walking away from it.

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