Old, but some might not have heard it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHx8y1rFjdk
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| The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. http://www.sitdownorwellstealyourclub.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=153 |
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| Author: | BristolDon [ Sat Dec 02, 2017 8:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
What's the fastest drink? Milk, because it's pasteurised before you see it |
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| Author: | keyser soze [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Where do Generals keep their armies? Up their sleevies. |
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| Author: | keyser soze [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
A Buddhist monk walks up to a kebab van and says "make me one with everything." |
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| Author: | keyser soze [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up Watson and says "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes." "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, a number of things," he says, "astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant." He pauses, then asks "what about you, Holmes?" "Watson, I deduce that someone has stolen our tent!" |
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| Author: | keyser soze [ Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Why don’t Marxists drink Earl Grey? They believe proper tea is theft. |
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| Author: | BristolDon [ Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. Well, it was just gathering dust. |
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| Author: | Coddy [ Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Old, but some might not have heard it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHx8y1rFjdk |
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| Author: | Gers [ Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Coddy wrote:
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| Author: | Aliramone [ Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Have you noticed how old people are always talking about death? I went to visit my mum and she goes "You remember Joyce? She's dead". I nodded "Remember Arthur? He's dead." I nodded again. "Remember Emily? She's dead now too". I went "mum give me the gun and get down off the roof". |
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