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Gers
PostPosted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 4:45 am 
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When I got home last night, I stayed up playing poker with tarot cards.
Got a full house, but four people died.

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And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
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Gers
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:40 pm 
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Van Gogh arranges to meet Gauguin in the pub after a hard day at the old easel.

"Alright Vince, what you having?"

"I'm alright Paul, I've got one 'ear"

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And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
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Gers
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:43 pm 
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I've just taken up meditation. Well, it beats just sitting around doing nothing.

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Gers
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:44 pm 
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I'm thinking of taking a job as a postman. It's gotta' be better than walking the streets.

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Kempstondons6
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 5:49 am 
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Gers wrote:
I'm thinking of taking a job as a postman. It's gotta' be better than walking the streets.


Have you just opened the Xmas crackers early? :D
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Modders
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:16 am 
"that ball went round and round - and stopped straight on black 13"...
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wotalad
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:02 pm 
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Man wakes up from a long coma. The Dr leans over and asks "How are you feeling?"
"Not well" the man replies "I can't feel my legs"
"That's because we've amputated your arms"
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SOUTHSTANDER
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:13 pm 
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I bought a book on procrastinating, still haven’t got round to reading it!
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Gers
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:41 pm 
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I had to get my old violin out of the shed today as I gave Yehudi My new 'un.

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keyser soze
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:34 pm 
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Sphere wrote:
More than content to have a jokes thread on here, just keep it at the Jimmy Bullard type humour, please. If it's a joke that you might hear on TV without the media up in arms it is fine, if it's not, then it's not :D.

Shame. I was going to post The Most Horrible Joke In The World.

And, weirdly, it's a Dad joke.

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I don't need your ill-informed, half-baked, idiotic opinions. I have plenty of those myself.
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