More than content to have a jokes thread on here, just keep it at the Jimmy Bullard type humour, please. If it's a joke that you might hear on TV without the media up in arms it is fine, if it's not, then it's not
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| The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. http://www.sitdownorwellstealyourclub.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=153 |
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| Author: | Alby [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 7:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
A place for you to post your favourite jokes and react to them. |
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| Author: | Alby [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 7:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
There once was a man who loved tractors, I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. His high school sweetheart, who didn't mind his infatuation with tractors one bit. She didn't even mind the role play where she would dress as a tractor, he would dress as a farmer, and he would take her for a "ride". Sadly his wife was struck one day, a tractor fell off the back of a transport truck. She didn't die until he was at her side in the hospital. Her dying words "don't blame the tractor honey" and with that she headed to the big farm in the sky. Sadly, he did blame the tractor, he hated them now with all his mind, body, and soul. He went home and destroyed ALL his tractor related items, the toys, his wifes tractor suit, and even his collection of tractor porn. He put it all in a pile and burned it in the yard. What ever didn't burn enough to his liking was thrown into a woodchipper. He then went inside, rarely leaving his home, for 8 years. Finally on the 8th anniversary of his darling wifes death he decided it was time to get back out in the dating world, plus the cute cashier at the grocery store had been asking him out for a while now, he called her out to dinner. The restaurant he choose ended up being quite nice, good food, good service, great decor. But there was one problem, it was EXTREMELY smoky. So smoky that his date, being an asthmatic, was having some trouble breathing. After noticing her displeasure, and trouble breathing, he started breathing in. I mean REALLY breathing in. Inhaling with such force that all the smoke quickly left the dining room, and went into his lungs. When the room was void of smoke he stepped outside and released it all into the night. When he rejoined his date she asked "how on earth did you do that?" to which he replied, "I'm an extractor fan." |
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| Author: | Gers [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Guy walks into a bakery in Glasgow. "Is that a cake or a meringue?" He asks the assistant. "No, you're right enough pal. It's a cake" (Perhaps you have to read it in a Scottish accent...) |
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| Author: | Sphere [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
More than content to have a jokes thread on here, just keep it at the Jimmy Bullard type humour, please. If it's a joke that you might hear on TV without the media up in arms it is fine, if it's not, then it's not .
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| Author: | Gers [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Well in that vein... Hear about the lonely Scottish prisoner? He was in his cell... |
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| Author: | Alby [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Sphere wrote: More than content to have a jokes thread on here, just keep it at the Jimmy Bullard type humour, please. If it's a joke that you might hear on TV without the media up in arms it is fine, if it's not, then it's not .Given the jokes that Gers and I have shared I intended it to be a thread that's more about terrible jokes that are so bad they're good than vulgar ones. Though some vulgar ones have to be accepted. That's why they're jokes. As long as it's not about rape or terrorism or anything. |
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| Author: | keyser soze [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Did you hear about the rapist who joined ISIS? Perhaps not... |
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| Author: | Sphere [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Alby wrote: Sphere wrote: More than content to have a jokes thread on here, just keep it at the Jimmy Bullard type humour, please. If it's a joke that you might hear on TV without the media up in arms it is fine, if it's not, then it's not .Given the jokes that Gers and I have shared I intended it to be a thread that's more about terrible jokes that are so bad they're good than vulgar ones. Though some vulgar ones have to be accepted. That's why they're jokes. As long as it's not about rape or terrorism or anything. Agreed, which is why I have just set the bar threshold as I have. Very relaxed about it at this stage, and no interest in overly moderating this, or any other part of the forum, for that matter. We only have two actual rules (Rule 100 and Rule 101), but occasionally it is opportune to give a steer on threads such as this.
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| Author: | keyser soze [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic? He sat up all night, wondering if there really was a Dog. |
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| Author: | Gers [ Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Jokes Thread sponsored by Jimmy Bullard. |
Hear about the fella who got a pair of cufflinks for his birthday? He went out and got his wrists pierced. |
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